... fuck the sun!
as if he would shine for me.. yeah right, fucking bullshit!
But hey, lets not worry, I mean, it's just me.. you know! .. s'pas
comme si j'avais une importance quelconque ou que j'pouvais en avoir
pour quelqu'un d'autre... ppffff besides, it's always easier to flee
then to stand up and fight ... huhuhuhuh lol yeah right !!! now why
the fuck did I use that word.. fight !!! lol.. as if any one of them
would even try ...
It's always easier to give up then to try and be real about it and well,
I'm either very fucking heavy or just not worth the effort in trying..
and yeah, that does have a negative effect on me and my whole life.. not
that saying it here is gonna change anything but at least I'm getting it
off my chest without bashing someone else but myself..
in any case... I was never THAT important ... nor will I ever be..
..the useless one... living a pointless life.
...ouen, po tojours facile sti..
you know, sometimeswe think we are in control, sometimes we think we
know what we are doing and whats happenning but more often than none,
we end up facing a wall, wondering how the hell we ended up here ...
but when we take the time to think and analyse whats going on, it becomes
clear that just going with the flow is like digging our own graves...
cockfuck said that it`s easier to choose evil as a way of life mainly
because of the self-centered aspect of it, whereas you would consider
yourself prior to even starting to think about considering others but
eveil is not always that easy because there is always a need that doesn`t
necessarily get satisfied and sometimes that need is exactly what we
are looking to satisfy... but at what cost..?
Is it better to be evil and yet have no satisfaction out of life or
to be just a little evil, get satisfaction but at a price ? I mean the
whole point behind evil is self-gratification but when that same self-
gratification becomes a burden to one's own freedom or to one's own
happiness because of all the concessions and all the water you end up
drinking instead of wine... where's the good in that ?
Granted that self-gratification is acheived but if one has to allow
self-sacrifice in order to obtain self-gratification, something is
wrong, really wrong!
Abstinence = self-sacrifice
Indulgence = self-gratification
Now, if self-sacrifice brings self-gratification, one has to make sure
self-sacrifice does not deprive one of one's freedom of being else it's
just self-sacrifice.
If there is one thing I learned and now understand, is that things, life,
relationships, should not be complicated on ANY level. If they are, it's
simply means that what you are stepping into is not ment for you. The only
time when it can be good is when you evolve from it or when it does not
intervene in your freedom or quality of life as YOU see fit.
We only live the life we want to live unless we allow others to dictate
our ways of life, in which case, we are no longer living but mearly existing
like worthless dead souls and that, well, I donenough I have to be a fucking slave because no one has the balls to stand
up, I will not become an empty shell just because that would help me fit in.
Conformity bring the death of the soul.
... ok j'avoue ca fait un cristi de boute que j'ai rien écris...
mais bon ... cé pas comme si j'trouvais des raisons pour écrire ben ben
ces temps-ci... mais la j'en ai une...
j'commence a comprendre a quel point j'vous hais toutes..
j'commence a comprendre pourquoi j'aimerais vous voir saigner a blanc
comme les osti d'cochons sales que vous etes... paske sérieusement,
chu un objet...
ben .. dans l'fond chu un page de marde... pis j'vous blast paske j'en
ai vraiment plein l'cul d'vos histoires de faibles pis d'vos excuses
pis de vos raisons toutes aussi poches les unes que les autres...
s'ta croire que tout ce que je fais cé a cause de vous ou pour vous..
s'ta croire que j'peu pas vivre ma vie comme je l'veux ...
le pire cé que vous pensez toutes me connaitre...
mais koliss que vous etes ignorants bandes d'attardé profonds...
si seulement ca valait la peine de se battre dans ce monde .. mais
nha... d'la marde .. toutes des crisses d'esclaves CAVES .. toutes
des soumis.... (islam ca veux dire soumis en passant!)... mais ca,
cé trop péjoratif pour vous autres... z'etes toutes parfaits gang
d'osti d'primates.... vous faites jamais rien de mal sans raisons
valables hein !?!... pis ben oui l'cave y va toujours etre la pour
vous récomforter pis vous faire sentir comme les rois et les reines
de ce monde .... (lire merde...)
ch'tanner de ma tite vie plate.. toujours pareil... rien qui change
sauf pour me faire chier encore plus ... tanner de me lever le matin
pour aller travailler pis apres faire semblant d'avoir une vie sociale,
tanner de perdre mon temps a essayer quand j'connais le résultat final..
tanner d'la vivre celle la ... sincerement... écoeurer...
y'en as qui essaye de me remonter le morale .. mais sti qui savent pas
comment .... nor do they understand the extent of what I live...
I mean, ok, I'm not in a concentration camp.. nor am I homeless or
starving somewhere in Africa... but then again...
knowledge is not always a good thing...
...odd the way life gets sometimes...
brutality always finds it's way home...
the sole presence of someone can sometimes make you feel special...
yet for some reason that someon will do everything the wrong way....
...odd the way life becomes one's own nightmare...
only at the dawn of day does one remember why he was allowed passage here.
only in dark times does one search out for the light...
yet only finds the way to one's own blackened heart...
...odd they way life starts with only the slightest glimps of hope...
the dead should know by now the cost of hope...
in despair lies the waker, the watcher, the maker...
in despair yet no one lives long enough to make him understand...
...odd the way life fails ...
no matter how ... it always fades away in times where it's needed the most...
yet no one cares nor finds the time to stare,
at what life made from the sweat of my heart...
yet brutality finds it's way back to my broken heart's glare...
temptation to break life and mend it with hell,
overwhelms the need to evade despair...
I have no heart worth for life to dare,
there is no hope for me to care,
only pain brought to their eyes,
from the emptiness in me they find,
I sold my soul a long time ago,
before I understood the value of one's such cold,
yet even with warnings and signs,
yet even from the screams of my blood,
you strive to believe,
in a lie you once told yourself,
that no one would make you deaf...
yet you strive to believe all the lies from the old mans head...
only to embrace...
the return of brutality home....sweet....home.
****************************************************************************
.....ouen ben ... peu importe ce que je fait et ou pense ca l'aire que
ca va juste continuer a faire mal pour un boutte encore... pis ca l'aire
que la vie continue pis que je dois pas me laisser crever .. .meme si ce
n'est pas l'envie qui me manque...
Y'en as qui me disent que c'est pas la fin du monde, d'autre que c'est
p't'etre mieux comme ca, d'autre que j'ai eu ce que je meritais et
certains que ca juste pas d'allure que ca soit fini et ce, peu importe la
raison en cause....
moi tout ce que je sais c'est que ca fait mal pis que chu tout seul dans
mon coin .... ma vie s'est arreter au lieu de continuer, les couleurs sont
devenue grises, le soleil sur ma peau reste froid, je ne sent plus le vent
ou les douces odeurs qu'il transporte, je ne ressent plus le besoin de
sourir, de rire ou meme d'essayer... tout est morne, terne, sans but,
sans espoir, tout passe du gris au noir tranquillement et je m'efface de
moi-meme sans meme etre capable de m'accrocher a quoi que ce soit...
...l'hivers s'en viens .... et je la met au defi, d'etre aussi froide que
mon ame, aussi froide que cette vie sans chaleur qui m'envahie, qui me
sourrit.... peu importe ce que j'essaye, mon coeur ne ressentira jamais
plus sa chaleure.... pis ya pas d'hivers qui peu se comparer a ca, aucun
vent ne soufflera asser fort et asser froid pour se comparer a ce que je
ressent en ce moment... peu importe le froid de cette hivers, peu importe
la chaleur de ces evenements, mon coeur restera de glace, mon ame restera
noire, l'espoir morte, a present que j'ai bruler ma foi, a present qu'il
ne reste que moi, perdu, enfouit sous ce mepris,...
...noyé sous la pluie glaciale de mes larmes.....
... I always lose those I care to love,
for I always were what I never was,
besides...
every time I try, I lose my why...
sometimes I just wish that someone would come along and turn off the light
...simply end my plight...
... I guess what sucks the most is knowing the value of what I lost...
... I know what sucks the most is having lost someone I honnestly loved...
!!!! This is totally fucking WACK !!!!!!!!
no shit men .. check this out ...
about 4 months ago I met someone and it was all looking very good...
I got introduced to a very tight circle of friends .. and thats what
the WACK part is .... TOO TIGHT !!!!
there were 5 crucial persons in this circle aside from my newly found love.
1 - ... always alone since hey .. she's got a derriere... but cool person, honnest!
2 - .... 2 years in a relationship already but I learned to be a bit unstable...
3 - ... 5 years in a relationship where she just HAD to lead and control...
4 - .... blonde bimbo who got fucked by almost every guy in town...pathetic!
5 - .. the aunt who's thinks she knows it all yet can't get laid .. even more pathetic...
ok ... so I'll start with my 2 favorites... #1 and #2...
well.. actually I don'T have much to say about them since they never really did anything
at least, not that I know of.. 2 is a bit unstable true since she likes to flirt with this
other guy when they see each other in a club .. but hey nobody's perfect..
The third one.. 3.... work as a "intervenante sociale aupres des jeunes"... huhu... easy to
know why that is... Hell, from what I was told, she was treated like shit from her dad since
she was born or just about .. but then again.. so was I and I'm still trying to better myself...
She broke up with her 5 year boyfriend recently and is in tremendous need of feeling good,
liked, appreciated and desired so obvioussly being 20, she's pretty much in that age of
fuck me whores wannabee... it sucks because from talking with her, I found that she had some
good in her but .. huhuh being Black myself, we all know the power of lust and desire now don't we!
... honnestly pathetic... specially since when she had he boyfriend, she never really showed up,
was never really there for my girlfriend but hey... she had a boyfriend... (really... FARK!)
poor guy couldn't watch porns without her wanting to slay his dick off !!! She would argue that
if he needed to watch porn, it was because she wasn't good enough for him ... !! nice self-esteem!!!
Everyone knows that most guys are into porn and those who don't admit it are just a bunch of freaking
hypocrits !!! .. sorry ladies, but it's in the nature of the male of this pathetic specie!
...alright, number four.... huhuhu one of my personnal favorites... huhuh the whore.. the one that got
fucked by litterally every single male in town, the one that uses her friends to attrack guys, just
to have more choice and who will more often then none, pick the one her friend wanted just to show she's
better !!!! .. gross.. totally disgusting....she is so in need of attention, that she dramatizes every
little detail and manipulates anything or anyone to satisfy her own lustfull greed... and uh .. I'm just
writing what all other 4 said .. ahahahaha thats the catch !!!... you know, the kind of whore who will
hit on her sisters boyfriend or who will take the very guy her friend just said she'd like to get and then
look at her friend with a gleam of victory in her eyes as she kisses the guy in front of her!!! SICK BITCH!
Hell, last time she went to school, she "did something" (kiss, blow or fucked) 10 out of 12 guys of her class
...huhu 10 outta 12 !!! can you believe that !!! why only 10 ? huhuhu thats the best part!, 10 out of 12
because one of them was with someone (or just plain too ugly.. but I think he was with someone) and the other
one because he was GAY !!!! ppffmmmouhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahaahaah how FUCKING SICK !!!! I
mean, how much of a whore can you be girl ??? .. the funny thing is that she kept telling me about all the
times her and my girlfriend used to go out and then my girlfriend would tell me about all the times she
went for the guy my girl had spotted .... best friends .. huhuhuhu nice wouldn't you say?
And now for the grand finaly, the number 5 !!! the aunt... that 33 year old princess who always gets what
she wants, the headless bitch who's existance stopped at 17 when she used to get the shit beaten out of her by
her own boyfriend, the one who booed my girl because my girl wasn't feeling well and she wanted to party !!!
....the one who drunk as a donkey decided to go swimming after having being told NO numerous times by both
my girl and her mom... and can back from the pool saying that we were losers because we didn't want her to
go swimming drunk !!! One of the first ones to bitch at #4 for being who she is.... the very one who told my
girl that her dad was stupid for commiting suicide ... now THATS what I call being MEAN!!!... oh yeah and uh,
she's getting fucked by oneof my girlfriend brothers friend while the guy she apparently love is behind bars
for something he did not do... they never wanted to make room for my girl to have her own guy...
So, there you have it.... my girlfriends friends all exposed here ... but now I have to stop saying my girlfriend
because some if not all, teamed up along with this kiddy prick who's been on my girls case for a while now, to
make sure that my mistake would be taken so serioussly that no matter how much she used to love me, she'd dumped me.
...see, last Suffocation show, I decided I would meet someone (girl) I'dd be chatting with for a while and with
whom I had music in common... I like to talk dirty and be an ass when I talk with girls especially when there is
nothing that will come out of it... hell, if you'ved read a nice chunk of this page, you should know that I love
to make them admit that they're just a bunch of whores no matter what, and those who wind up proving me wrong, I
get seriouss with, like my girl... she has nothing bad in her and she probably never will have either unless she
keeps accepting what others say as being the ultimate truth... you know, sweet and innocent, just the way I like
them for real involvment from my part... anyways, me and that other girl decided to meet at Suffocation....
Now, I believe that a relationship is 50%/50%, 50% yours and 50% to share but my girl kinda forgot that part and
she went peeking in my own personnal 50% where she found conversation logs and other bullshit yet, instead of
asking me what all this was about, instead of bringing this bullshit to the table and ask for explanations, she
indulged in this newly found knowledge without any way of understanding what was going on... so yeah, when you
read stuff like, I would have been curious to try you out or what are you going to do if I jump you ?.. it is
perfectly normal to start having brain seizures while thinking about the what ifs and don'ts... but that is not
the way to go at it... especially when you only have your own mind to answer the questions you want answers to!!!
Honnestly, I think we can all agree that, that is the best way to make sure you start with a red rose and end up
with a black orchid!!!... Sad... it's very sad... she wanted me to tell her that I was going to the show with that
other girl but at the same time, she was getting colder and colder... I figured she probably met someone hey Jon.I
boy !!!... so I guess we both have our faults in this and I am more then willing to take my part of the blame, since
I never told her prior to the show.. hell, I wouldn't have told her because to me it was so insignificant... can
someone please tell me whats the wrong in meeting someone you chat with for platonic reasons ? I mean, those of you
who really know me... y'all know how much I just LOVE to BASH people in the pit when I go to a show and that it's
the ONLY place where I let all my hatred out.... yes HATRED... ever tried picking someone up with hate lines ???
huhuhu that just doesn't work .. AT ALL !!!!! trust me and besides, I'm too in the mood to bash people up to take
1 second of my time and grant it to mating rituals !!! fuck I coudn't care less !!! ahahahahahahahah!!!! In this
world where I get shit everyday, the pit, a show, is the ONE place I DON'T CARE ABOUT THE FEMALE OF THE SPECIE!!!
but you have to read this text to know that if you just met me... This is what you have to read to get to know
me, not my conversation logs damnit!!! come on!!! ... and the worst thing is, my girl never wanted to come to a
show... she never wanted to see that .. man, would that have saved all of us alot of grief.. well.. except for
4 and 5 !!! :P 3 might have understood what the fuck was going on there, 2 might have had some fun and 1 well...
didn't get to know her that much but I'm pretty sure she would have wondered what the fuck was all this violence
about!!!.... as for my girl .. well, she would have seen what going to see the show is all about! (D.R.I.!!!!!)
...so thats about it.... I lost my girl because of a couple of bimbos and a dick and because of a "vieille fille"
all too frustrated about what they don't have instead of being happy for what their friend had.
....cheers y'all, and remember, STAY THE FUCK OUT OF MY 50% !!!!!!!!!
......the day before my girlfriend started dumping me, this is what I thought....
...nothing is what it seams ... nothing is like they said it would be
...nothing remains like it should.... everything rots no matter how much...
since all I had is what I lost, the soul you burned was mine to earn...
ya un temps ou je me plaisais a dire des choses pareil mais plus le temps
passe et plus je réalise que ma vie n'est qu'une série d'échec tous plus
lamentables les unes que les autres... né d'une petite famille bourgeoise
qui réussissait tant bien que mal a rejoindre les deux bouts, j'ai appris
qu'une seule chose... :
ce que tu veux, ils l'aurons,
ce a quoi tu aspire, ils le deviendrons,
ce que tu fuis te ratrapera,
pour te rapeller a quel point tu ne mérite rien.
quand chu v'nue au monde ma mere ma dit : y'en aura pas de facile,
pis toute mon enfance/adolescence, mon pere s'est assurer que je n'ai aucune
confiance en moi, rien... de la ou viens ma haine pour les humains...
de se faire dire qu'on est un incapable par celui qu'on estime le plus,
de le voir se détruire et me faire porter le blame de son existance qui
pour lui n'était pas satisfesante, de ressentir le mépris quand tout ce que
j'avais besoin c'était de l'encouragement... pis l'pire c'est que tout l'monde
s'en fou, en dehors comme en dedans...
Un jour, quelqu'un m'a dit, : tu ne peu pas changer la vie ni le monde dans lequel
tu vie, tu dois changer ta perspective des choses et tu verra tout le bien qui
t'attends la...
... j'ai beau changer mes yeux et ceux de mon coeur, y'en aura pas d'facile
faque ta yeule pis pleure... de toute facon personne te vois, personne t'entends,
personne le sait pis biensure, tout l'monde s'en fou.. cé juste toé... le p'tit loser
qui passe son temps a s'apitoyé sur son sort au lieux de faire de quoi cé ca ?..
...pourtant, chaque jours de ma vie j'essaye, de sourir, de rire, de pas tout prendre
au sérieux, de pas faire mon ti vieux...
j'essaye d'avoir de l'ambition et de foncé, d'embrasser la vie et de rester positif
mais a la longue mon coeur s'épuise, vieillit, deviens malade pis oui... j'va crever avant
d'avoir trouver... huhu comme disait mon ex : chu un éternel insatisfait...
mais...
peut-etre que si les gens prennaient plus le temps d'écouter,
peut-etre que si les gens prennaient plus le temps de regarder au lieu de juger,
peut-etre que si les gens étaient gentils au lieu d'etre méchants,
peut-etre devrais-je mourir au lieu de soutenir ce poid de plus en plus pesant...
de toute facon on s'en criss .. ya personne qui lit ce texte,
personne est asser freak pour s'arracher les yeux pour apprendre a me connaitre,
de toute facon on s'en criss... cé pas demain la veille qu'ils vont comprendre,
personne prends le temps de remarquer ces etres si petits que même les p'tits
ne prennent pas le temps de regarder....
ca fait mal en dedans, surtout que ca dure depuis longtemps, j'ai beau me saigner a blanc,
ya pas personne qui s'interresse a mon sang...
pis ceux qui disent le contraire, ceux qui disent partager mon air,
n'ont jamais pris le temps, de me demander ce que j'avais a partager...
...dans l'fond, ce que je suis en train de réalisé, c'est que je n'ai jamais rien changé
ou amélioré... juste esperé... pis perdu mon temps en essayant de me convaincre que
quelqu'un quelque part prendrait le temps de me guider vers le phare...
prendrait le temps de me trouver,
prendrait le temps d'essayé de me comprendre,
prendrait le temps de m'aimer pour qui je suis sans ambitionné,
prendrait le temps de me prendre au sérieux sans que ca me coute les yeux de la tete,
sans qu'en bout de ligne je n'y perde mon coeur et mon ame...
j'ai toujours voulu croire, que ca valait la peine d'avoir de l'espoir,
asteur mon coeur est malade, asteur mon ame se meurt,
ca devrait pus etre ben ben long, dans l'fond,
j'va m'éteindre de gré ou de force mais ca sera pas si long que ca finalement,
pis j'me fou po mal ou j'm'en va, en haut, en bas, dans l'néant...
pourvu que ce soit loin de vous tous, loin de ces etre méchants,
qui sans relache mon poussé vers ce gouffre,
qui sans relache mon volé mon souffle...
pourvu que ce soit loin de vous,
qui m'avez mirroité tant d'espoir,
dans l'fond ce que je souhaite,
c'est de m'éteindre dans le noir...
si jamais un jour je me noie,
sache que j'aurai attendu aussi longtemps que j'aurai pus,
si un jour tu ne m'entends plus,
sache que pour toujours, j'aurai brulé ma foi.
en moi...
en toi...
sache que pour toujours, j'aurai brulé ma croix.
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
... huhuhu... serioussly now... has anyone ever wanted to try but always failed to do so ?
Well.... I have... and honnestly I'm starting to have my doubts as to wheter or not I should
keep trying... it just feels like no matter what I try, I'll always loose my why...
.. you know get up, go to work, come back home, go to bed... the slave routine y'all are used to...
the same routine that is killing life.. the same routine that systematically keeps me out
stranded on a deserted island amongst all of you...
.. I feel alone in this crowd ...
no matter who crosses my path,
no matter what your intentions are...
no matter the circomstances...
no matter who you are...
... in the end, I'm still better off dead.
I have no care to give to a sick and twisted race of fools,
I'dd rather be dead then live my life as a slave,
I have no reason to allow anyone in my life,
I found no sympathy in your acknowledgment of my existance,
I am ... but I'dd rather be dead...
I couldn't care less about your system, your society...
I couldn't care less about your laws and your code of ethics...
I couldn't care less about your wants, needs and hopes...
You've destroyed everything I ever believed in.... MySelf!
You've made sure I never wanted to try again...
problem being if I don't try.. I'm better off dead.
Every single goal I ever set up in my life I had to forget about,
Every single person that comes in my life is blind to my reality,
Every single time I try to have a normal life...
Every time.. I'm fucked...
.....simply because I tried, simply because you lied...
I'm just so sick of all this bullshit...
Sick of bleeding,
Sick of hurting... me or others by me...
Sick of hope ... besides despair, it doesn't generate much in my life...
Sick of lying to minimise damage and avoid conflicts,
Sick of letting someone else win to show how good I can be...
Sick of being treated like some freak show because I CAN CARE even tho y'all don't...
Sick of having this weight on my shoulders because y'all can't bare it...
Sick of all these obligations towards my fellow man... fellow.. ppffff yeah right!!!
Sick of you're incompetence,
Sick of y'all not trying and making sure I get the cake for it
Sick of your excuses when you don't even have the guts to try,
Sick of following up behind you to pick up the pieces,
Sick of not having enough space to breath because y'all figured that the air I breath is better,
Sick of this pretention y'all bare and adore,
Sick of humans telling me what to do when they themselves don't even know why I should...
Sick of life...
But that's something none of you will ever understand,
Hidding behind your pathetic excuses,
Hoping I'll get over it,
Not caring because it doesn't affect you, even when I'm the first one you come crying to ...
Sick of trying and wasting my life on a bunch of ingrates...
but too much water passed under the bridge,
too much time has been wasted on sorry ass excuses...
it's always easy to say I'm sorry,
it's always easy to say I care...
But has anyone ever thought that saying is not believing ?
Superficial bunch of slaves...
No wonder there is so much bullshit on this planet!
It's not what I'm worth that counts,
It's the value y'all give me,
It's the amount of bullshit I can handle,
It's not the fact that I'm better or worst that counts,
It's the profit you benefit from by leaching from others...
It's not the fact that I care too much,
It's the fact that y'all just don't wanna try to care...
.. and when y'all do care well... there's profit to be made somewhere...
I've tried all my life to be the best I can be,
You tried all your life to show you were better then me...
I've tried all my life to succeed,
You've tried all your life to make sure I don't .... easier to keep me enslaved...
I've tried all my life to play by your rules,
You will always be there to make sure there is a rule I was not aware of... easier to keep me enslaved..
You'll always be there for me, to make sure I feel like shit.
But if I raise up my voice,
Y'all line up to beat the shit out of me.... easier to keep me enslaved...
I've always wanted to prone the truth,
But you covered me with lies to keep me enslaved...
You're killing the only humanity left in me...
You're killing the kid in me...
You're killing me...
Does anyone even care ?
Does anyone remember what it feels like to dare ?
Does anyone ever even tried to look further then the tip of their nose to see what a mess y'all left me in ?
Does anyone care ?
Denial of existance, neglect, obedience, slavery, abject form of life...
It's always easier to judge what we don't know as being worthless...
Did you ever even tried to care ?
nha.... why would you ?
What good would it do to you to try ?
Leave him to die...
Don't try to understand,
It's much easier to let someone die then to try an honnestly help them,
There is no profit to make from helping someone get up when you can step on their heads to reach your own goal...
Same with integrity... another dying word...
Always easier to bend over then to ask for help or to say no...
I would like to know how all of you can look at yourselves in the mirror...
I've always wondered how you could cover yourselves with shit and consider yourselves pretty... worthy...
But things wont change...
no...
That the way the cookie crumbles...
Evolution is only accepted thru destruction if a profit can be made from that destruction..
Else.. you don't find any worth in it...
There is no word that I can use to describe the hate y'all are covering me in...
There is no hope for me to cherish and nurrish,
There is no way for me to be free other then by dying...
There is no way for me to see the light when you're standing in front of it...
There is no end to this tunnel, y'all are making sure I don't find my way...
Am I that much of a menace ?
Must I really accept that all I can have is what y'all want me to have ?
Who the fuck are you to know whats best for me ?
Who the fuck are you to decide ?
Who the fuck are you to say what is good and what's not when you yourselves don't have a fucking clue ?
Who are you to say who is worthy or not when you don't even take the time to look at yourselves ?
Who are you to allow yourselves the right to judge when your path never even came close to mine ?
Who are you to demande that I abibe by your primitive ways ?
When the fuck are you going to realise ???
It's not what you have, what you look like, what you own, or even who you are that makes this place go round ...
It's your acknowledgment of slavery,
It's your lack of judgment,
It's your lack of effort to make it all better,
It's your lack of respect and integrity,
It's your lack of conscience and this need to indulge in what is already dead..
Your refusal to see,
Your refusal to believe,
Your refusal to try,
Your refusal to accept something that you don't always understand,
Your refusal to understand that even tho you are the sole purpose of your own life,
YOU ARE NOT IMPORTANT TO THIS LIFE.
When are you going to undertand that by helping others, you're helping yourself ?
oops... shouldn't have said that cause now y'all will want to help... FOR YOUR OWN BENEFIT!
... somewhere over the rainbow,
there's a noose with my name on it...
somewhere over the rainbow...
thats all you need to know...
somewhere over the rainbow,
there's a grave with my name carved in it...
somewhere over the rainbow...
there's no one there for me ... no more then there is here....
somewhere over the rainbow... yeah right ...
another way of saying politly that I'll never have my worth acknowledged...
I HATE YOU ALL HUMANS, AND WILL TIL I FALL.
.... pppfffff.. ben oui sti .. pis quoi encore???
feel po ... tanné en sale de vivre ca... j'trouve pas de but ou de raisons
pour continuer sans avoir de haut-le-coeur....
j'me sent comme un lendemain de veille ...
tout est gris.. fade... maussade... plate... froid... irritant..... épuisant....
comme si peu importe ce que j'essaye, le résultat sera toujours le même.... gris... amer.... froid...
...pourtant je regarde autours de moi...
rien... rien pour moi... rien d'autre que toi.... qui n'est pas là... rien d'autre que ca.. mais c'est pas pour moi.
...pour qui j'me prends ? de dire ca ?
... regarde autour de toi.. est-ce que tu me vois ?
...pour qui j'me prends... franchement... si seulement vous prenniez le temps de regarder, de penser...
mais c'est toujours plus facile de pointer, d'accuser, de miner, d'enlever et d'humilier....
... pis non j'me plaint pas l'ventre plein... j'me plaindrai pas si mon ventre était plein..
je ne pleurerais pas si en regardant dans ma main, je trouverais la tienne.... mais en vain ...
nha..ca vaut pas la peine d'essayer, pas plus que ca vaut la peine de pleurer...
ca vaut pas la peine de me saigner volontairement pour t'aider, te supporter, t'encourager...
tu m'saigne a longueur de journée anyway..
j'ai beau te demander d'arreter, te supplier, crier pis m'cacher....
tu m'trouve... tu m'calme... tu m'ouvre les veines pis tu m'saigne a blanc comme a chaque fois..
j'ai beau demander de ne plus jamais etre trouver, de ne plus jamais etre aimer de pouvoir enfin crever....
... tu reviens toujours a la charge....
peu importe ....
j'ai juste le gout de crever..
peter l'abces que je suis..
étendre le pus qui fermente en moi...
sur les couleurs de ta vie que tu me vole, que tu me prends, que tu m'invente avant de m'en accuser...
j'ai pus vraiment de but...
tout ce que je sais c'est que ce que j'avais... tu l'as pris..
... asteur que j'en ai pus .. tu m'dit que j'vaux rien ... j'ai pus rien pour toé...
t'as tout pris... sans prendre le temps d'être là pour moé
dans l'fond ... on s'en criss ..
le pouilleux .. qui creve.. ca fera ca de moins a laisser respirer...
lui ? ... c'est pas grave... de toute facon .... c'est juste moi..
.... pask'un humain devrait etre empailler et exhibé entant que phénomène de foire...
.... pask'apart moé ya de la place pour tout l'monde autour de ton nombril...
faque préparez le buché pask'un plein d'marde comme moé, ca brule longtemps en sacrament!!!
... ah pis allez donc toute chier!
Les accommodements raisonnables...pour enfants roi seulement!
... eh... s'paske ....
cé non.
... on se bat comme des caves pour faire laïscisé nos écoles. criss,
nos commissions scolaire tabarnack!!!
pis asteur qu'on l'as.......................... ca!?!.
... on accepte.. ca !?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
...mais bon, encore faut-il prendre le temps de se regarder le nombril.
Néanmoins, il serait fort déplorable d'abdiquer dans une guerre comme la notre...
l'ennemi changera toujours de forme, de nom, de facon de faire, d'exister........
pis j'm'explique mal comment mossieux/meudame tous-le-monde peuvnt faire pour se regarder dans le mirroir..
.... le pire c'est que la réponse, on la connait tous.., et par-coeur en plus...
on est épuisé... blazé, tanné, écoeuré, dégouté... on en a pus rien chier boud'viarge!
... ca fait tellement longtemps que ca dure qu'ils pourraient au moins avoir compris
mais ils ne comprendront jamais car ils n'essayent pas. Ils ont ce qu'ils veulent eux...
.... m'étais-je égaré ? a s'ke j'sache, j'parlait des couleurs du monde qui veulent devenir des bleus non?
pis y comprennent pas qu'y faut mettre du bleu en PREMIER ?
eux autres y pensent qu'ils ont plus et/ou autant de droits que nous?
.. eh.. s'paske hey chose, quand je va chez vous, j'ai z'enleve mes souliers avant de rentré ? hein ?
poukoi tu capote dabord quand ch'te d'mande d'en faire autant criss ??? té ché nous sti !
me criss ben té ki .. té ché nous osti. cé koi tu comprends pas la d'dans ?
faut tu vraiment que je fasse taggé mon site
comme site de propagande haineuse envers les ci pis les ca pour que tu comprenne???
chu tu vraiment obliger de dire a tout le monde c'ke ch'pense de toé pis d'ta ligné?
faut tu vraiment que j'alle au pawn-shop su'l coin m'acheter un gun pis commencer a faire le cave plus que
toé pour que tu comprenne ou j'veux en v'nir icitte ????
.. tk j'espere que non paske chu trop p'tit... trop insignifiant...trop...comment dire....bha .. rien.
chu trop rien aux yeux de tous ceux et celles qui décide de tout et ce sous je ne sais quelle jurédiction,
sans aucune conscience (con-science...) ou intégrité en soi.
...en même temps c'est drole parce que tout passe devant vous et personne réagit!
bha ok .. ya un ti coin kekpart qui a commencer, qui a réagit héhé, pis chapeau a eux !!!
(- vos yeules gang d'osti d'primates!!! de toutes facon un bleu ca existait pas quand y'ont inventé le mot
ségrégation siboire faque arreter d'me chier dessus avec votre intolérance face a la supposé notre! :P )
...
sérieusement là,
à ce que je sache, les accommodations raisonnable ca un rapport direct avec la religion cé ca?
...dans ce cas,
quelqu'un pourrait me dire ce qu'il y a de raisonnable dans la religion?
quelqu'un pourrait me dire si la religion a déjà été raisonnable?
quelqu'un pourrait me dire pourquoi je ne peu pas dire ce que je pense sincèrement ?
quelqu'un pourrait me dire pourquoi je ne suis pas maitre dans MA maison quand ILS y sont?
...
could someone please tell me,
for I would like to know,
are we humans?
or animals?
are we free or must we obey like well trained dogs?
whats the point to all of this shit? this fucking garbage?
criss on est même pas foutu d'etre maitre chez soi pis on donnent des privileges aux autres !!!
le pire dans tout ca c'est que le probleme viens de la seule criss de race de batard que j'ai pas le droit
de nommé... ben ... ya des exceptions dins autres races aussi mais bon ... ya des cochons bleu aussi :P
j'comprends juste pas pourquoi...
nous autres les bleus, ont passe pour des moutons tellement on est tolérants..
pour des "pas d'colonne"... pis non, cé pas asser.... non seulement on s'en va chez vous, mais en plus,
on va chier sur ton perron, manger dans ton frigidaire, fourrer ta femme pis on va filmer ta fille
en train de sodomiser ton gars pis toé tu peu pas rien dire paske toé tu nous accommode raisonnablement.
ah oui j'oubliais, m'a vivre sur ton bras le temps que j'me monte mon réseau de dope, pute pis d'extorsion
faque quand ta femme va vouloir le divorce ben cé moé qui va l'aider a te saigné a blanc,
quand ton fils va chercher de l'aide pour surmonter ce qu'il viens de vivre j'va y donner une puff en y
montrant ta fille qui s'fait fourrer par le juge qui t'aura juger inapte a éduquer un enfant vue que
tu voulais pas m'accommoder raisonnablement quand tu ma vue me marier avec ma cousine, fille de la soeur
de mon pere... fille de ma grand-mere!
des osti d'primates...
rienque des osti d'primates soumis!
z'etes caves kalisse...
z'etes caves en tabarnack a part de ca..
fuck... .. pis ca rien a voir avec la tolérance envers les autres ou whatever criss...
ceux qui arrive icitte par obligation ben sorry pis pli. Tu part pas de chez vous pour rien.
ceux qui le font par choix ben justement, cé TON choix, faque ASSUME.
... on est déjà asser raisonnable comme cé là.
no wonder I HATE HUMANS.
... btw send your complaints to :: abuse :: at my domain ...
Oh well...
guess I had something to learn from all of this bullshit..
but first I would like to say thank you... in french...
============================================================
= MeRcI = ...ma gang d'osti!
============================================================
MeRcI a tout ceux qui se disent mes amis et qui apres avoir abuser répondent : I'm sorry...
MeRcI a tout ceux qui ont contribuer a ce que je suis devenu, un haineux.
MeRcI a tout ceux qui se cache derriere une game pour avoir ce qu'ils veulent.
MeRcI a tout ceux qui jouent au victimes pour influenceer ce que l'on pensent d'eux.
MeRcI a tout ceux qui mon donner une chance pour me la retirer avant même que j'essaye.
MeRcI a tout ceux qui, par peur d'avancer, m'ont fait reculer.
MeRcI a tout ceux qui ont tellement douter que j'en suis venu a me remettre en question.
MeRcI a tout ceux qui m'ont fait croire en tout ce que je ne peu pas avoir.
MeRcI a tout ceux qui sont trop faible pour assumer leurs actes.
MeRcI a tout ceux qui nous invente des reves pour mieux nous plonger dans un cauchemar
MeRcI a tout ceux qui ont peur de vivre, vous me polluer l'existance par votre manque de confiance.
MeRcI a tout ceux qui pense me connaitre, me comprendre, me controler, vous me montrez juste a quel point vous
etes inférieur, ne serais-ce qu'envers vous-même!
MeRcI a tout ceux qui croient tout connaitre, vous ne faites qu'afficher votre ignorance.
MeRcI de me laisser tomber pis d'me brailler ca dans les bras quand vous avez besoin d'aide
MeRcI de me raconter tout vos problemes... ca parrait que vous avez pas lus cette page jusqu'en bas!
MeRcI de croire que je vous crois, que je vous aimes, que vous comptez pour moi... gang d'osti d'primates!!
MeRcI pour le mépris, pour l'intolerance, pour etre si gentil avec autruis pis d'me cracher dans face
MeRcI de me détruire le coeur sous prétexte que vous vouliez pas me faire mal sur le coup...
MeRcI a tout ceux qui considere que c'est trop long de dire bonjour ou trop forcant de faire un sourir.
MeRcI a tout ceux qui on besoin d'excuses pour justifier leurs manque de jugement, d'interet ou de volontée.
MeRcI pour tout ce que vous avez pas faite pour moi.
MeRcI pour tout ce que vous me reprocher, tout ce que vous m'attribuer faute d'etre responsable.
MeRcI au control freaks qui ont besoin de tout décidé ... le monde respire pus ... pas grave, eux oui!
MeRcI a ceux qui ont peur d'aimer et/ou d'etre aimer, s't'une belle raison de vous hair ca !
MeRcI aux prétentieux de s'assurer d'écraser les petits, ca fait plus de place pour les grands qui ont commencer
petit.
MeRcI a ceux qui se vautre dans l'oublie, dans la luxure, dans la plenitude... il existe que vous... pourritures!
MeRcI a ceux qui oublie, qui méprise, qui se crois mieux qu'un autre c'est grace a vous que les classes sociales
existes
MeRcI de me faire savoir a quel point vous n'avez pas besoin de moi
MeRcI de valorisé tout ce qui me donne le gout de vomir.... vous-même !!!
MeRcI a tout ceux qui croient avoir tout compris a la vie... quelle vie ? on apelle ca de l'esclavage volontaire.
MeRcI a tout ceux qui nous disent ce que l'on veux ntendre pour faire le contraire dans notre dos.
MeRcI a tout ceux qui sont pas fiable, vous etes une vrai belle perte de temps!
MeRcI a tout ceux qui ont peur de aire mal sous prétexte qu'ils ont déja eu mal, pensez-vous vraiment qu'on est
asser cave pour se laisser détruire sans réagir ???
MeRcI a tout ceux pour qui il n'y pas de différence entre dire la vérité et la manipuler, c'est grace a vous
qu'on est encore gouverné...
Bref, merci a vous tous qui avez contribuer au cancer que vous etes, qui avez et continuer de détruir les espoirs
des autres, leurs reves, leurs ambitions, simplement parce que ca ne concorde pas avec votre cheminement de vie.
MeRcI!
bha... vous connaissez la routine non ? Chaque fois c'est pareil...
des fois on essaye juste trop... on part avec une idée
pis on se retrouve a reculer au lieu d'avancer... pis c'est pas
toujours facile a admettre... surtout quand on le fait pour
améliorer son sort.
Ben souvent on en oubli notre chemin, on vois pus l'décors,
on fait juste refuser d'admettre qu'on s'efface soi-meme, sans se
donner la chance d'apparaitre...et vous le faites tout en
sachant ben trop qu'j'vous hais toutes autant que vous etes et ce,
simplement parce que vous etes.
L'existance humaine actuelle tel que définit par l'idée
n'engendre aucune évolution de la race puisque comme le dit si
bien le dicton : l'histoire se répète!
et de dire que ca prends du temps, c'est comme se tirer dans l'pied
puisque le moment présent est abusé ne serais-ce que par mépris.
l'important c'est le tout pas le nous ni le vous ni le je ni le tu ni le il
mais bien le tout qui, invariablement et ce plus souvent qu'autrement,
sera traiter par il et donc laisser pour compte puisque de toute facon
le je prends beaucoup trop de place en tous et chacun de vous, dans nous, car
le tu refuse constament d'essayer sous prétexte qu'une obstacle se dresse
devant lui.
I never wanted any of this
Yet it is what it is...
For here on this world where nothing changes,
Every day is more the same
Conformity has set a path,
For all of you who sit and laugh,
Deprived consciousness, obedient class, please tell me you'll never last
For if you do, and I hope you wont,
Here on this world there will be no changes.
The soul you burned, the less you earn,
to choose a path, this world wont last
Since all I had is what I lost,
The soul you burned, was mine to earn.
...
To let tem know will make them cry,
For they will never find the reason why,
Here on this world where nothing changes,
All hope is dead, and NO that's not just in my head!
This being said...
... Dead to me, all dead to me, your dead to me, your all dead to me!!! [sFu]
.. oh and uh .. between you and me ... huhuhu a good human is a dead human...
and uh hey,
none of you is worth shit so I wont be caught dead pissing on my own grave.
Don't worry.
honnestly I'dd rather see a big shroom whipe the face of this planet of your pathetic
excuse for humans you all make. At least there would be something pleasent to see.
And honnestly I don't care....think of me as you will I don't care,
Look at the small man and abuse of him the same way you try to abuse of those
too big for your control, too afraid to even try to listen, to understand...
....you know.. sure sometimes honnesty sucks...
but being honnest is the best way to make sure I don't get MAD.
pis comme disait R.B.O. : Pensez-y !!!! Biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiip! ;P
...Ouen ben...
..je ne pensais jamais mettre ca en ligne mais criss que je commence
a avoir hate de crever siboire !!!
ca change rien d'essayer...
y va TOUJOURS avoir des idiots pour chier sur mon perron...
y va TOUJOURS avoir des caves pis des putes pour me faire chier!
y va TOUJOURS avoir quelqu'un pour me rapeller a quel point
I HATE YOU ALL!!!
... criss ... y'all are too damn blind or just plain STUPID ???
z'etes toutes des esclaves pathetiques...
vous travailler pour avoir de l'argent paske vos cretins de parents
l'ont fait avant vous.... mais vous ne savez meme pas pourquoi!
Vous vous cachez derrieres des idees preconcus que vous DEVEZ travailler...
faque allez-y bande de caves...
tout ce que vous faites restera en vain...
....
.. peu meme pas vivre ....
sans compter le fait que la classe ouvriere se fait chier dessus
par une gang de crottés qui savent pas ce que c'est
que de travailler. Mais il sse permettent de juger, de sévir,
d'imposer leurs volontées...
.. pis vous etes tous trop caves pour réalisé que vous gaspiller votre vie
a etre l'esclave d'u nsysteme qui se fou de vous et qui profite de vous,
qui donne a vos élus toujours plus de possibilité de profiter
de vous, de votre ignorance...
Gang d'osti d'primates a marde !!!!
vous me rendez tous malade... pis ce qui est domage dans tout ca c'est que
peu importe ce que je dit et ou écrit, le mieux qui va arriver c'est
que je vais avoir des plaintes et je vais devoir fermer mon site pask'une gang
de troup d'cul tiennent le monde par les couilles!!!
freedom does not exist
slavery does.
...pis tout l'monde se fou d'la masse en autant qu'ils aient ce qu'ils
veulent. Vous etes tous dégeulasses... .
NO WHORES ALLOWED!!!
Bon ok, je viens d'arriver faque on prends son mal en patience!
je devrais etre en mesure de faire de quoi pour bientot.
Merci de votre comprehension.
...fev 2006...
je travail sur un acces au membres... il y aura plusieurs sections
et la possibilitée pour le membre d'échanger.
une fois cette section terminer je mettrai en ligne un formulaire
qui vous permettra de soumettre votre candidature comme membre.
pis c'est ca qui est ca pour l'instant.
En attendant vous pouvez toujours me laisser un p'tit mot!
MaaMohTh
... damn this is gonna hurt!
... Oh well, whatever has two will!
... hope y'all are ready...
humans... all of you.. all you are.. all you ever will be...
and long has it been since I have spoken my mind on you all.
Now I see no reason why I should abstain from such behavior.
why should I .. ?
why would a human be so important anyway ?
what's so special about a human ?
tell me, I would like to know...
because appart from living in a metaphoric world based on
a materialistic reality governed by individualistic views
fueled by the need to control an existance that you all deny everyday?
or it is just the fact that you have too little grey matter to understand
that life is not a property?
why should you have any right over any form of life ?
who are you to decide which of us or them or some or those or they
should die or live in abstinence or indulgence ???
hello ???
anybody home ???
or is it I
who cannot close my eyes to this commun plague known as humanity?
this cancer which devoures my land and took rights over my freedom the day
I was born into this lack of comprehension,
this lack of judgment,
this lack of sincerity,
this lack of purity....................
hmmm... thats a nice word... sad one but a nice one...
sad ? ...
sad cause it's a dead word in human hearts...
huhu... as if humans had hearts !!!
and please, spare me the melodramatics...
everyday... more the same...
"the blinds bleeding (leading) the blinds who were bled by blinds..."
very stupid little creature they are indeed, I once said,
wondering if one day this race would reach the ants
social awareness capabilities....
now, now, raise your hand if you think the human race can surpasse the ant
as far as social and collectivity taking care of goes,
so I can throw this very pointy dagger at you!!!
hypocritical self-decieving and so on fool !!!!!!!!!
what do you think .?.?.
hmmm nha forget it
.. not only do humans lack the capability to understand but they also
lack the ability to think and besides what good would that do since
they lack judgment anyways ????
...
without mentionning the fact that they lack balls!!!!!!!
sorry but I know of no other way to say this ..
if you find it offensive well you know what to do ...
ppfff...
human!
One day I'll be dead and none of this will mather
One day you'll be dead and all you'll hear is laughter
Now that this is said...
songs of the moment ... ;) Carcass - Polarized
.. never wanted this to be like this ..
never asked for your acceptance...
never hoped I'dd get this far ..
... humans.. huhu..
few days ago I saw this guy wearing a shirt saying "against oppression"
huhuhu...
come on don't make me laugh..
you do work every day don't you ???
you do obey laws written long before you ever existed right ???
you do exactly as you are told and all within the limits you are granted....
huhu against oppression
...
come on !!!!!
bunch of ignorant slaves ....
no wonder nothing ever changes here!
slaves to your own selves,
slaves without regard to what enslaves you all
...
slaves without conscience,
without the slightest idea of HOW STUPID Y'ALL ARE !!!
...
I have a heart so broken up to pieces it's not pieces I have
now it's plain ol' dust !!!!
try putting THAT back to pieces and then back to a functionnal heart !!!!
tuff luck !!!!
yet still everyday I get up and give at least one of you a chance ..
that more then never you pathetically fail to take...
now unless you're a phreaking iguanna or some:
"i'll grow it back exacty to how it was" animal,
you should know that if you get a limb hacked off,
it's just not gonna grow back (at all in our case) exactly like it was...
just like if something breaks,
it WILL NOT go back to it's original state..
yet everyday I give one of you a chance...
but then again maybe I'm just a dumb stubborn taurus
who just doesn't know when to quit!!! :P so ????
as if that would stop me from saying what I have to say
about all you phreaking insects ..
I hate humans cause they hate themselve's so much more
then I'll ever be able to hate someone
.. yet they talk about society and collectivity and relationships....
lotta big empty words....
lotta sad words...
but then again ..
there's alot of dead souls out there too ...
sometimes even friends become enemies we don't see
because we alowed them our friendship,
sometimes people we consider friends will make sure we stay
in a position where we need them because they themselves
don't have enough faith in themselves to stand up on their own ground
without you being around..
but most of the time,
people just play with each other,
trying to make the best out of what the other possesses..
real psychic vampires..
some are even good enough to spend their whole life
without having to pose the slightess effort in order to live!!!
not only survive !!!
...
I personnaly always wanted to think I could give you a chance...
at first...
and then see how things go..
but more then once you all have proven that
not only I can't trust any of your sad words
but I cannot even allow myself to hope,
or plant a seed of hope .....
hope that all of you crush every single day with your politics,
your global policies,
your morales,
your religions,
your social conscience,
your values both materialistic and superficial
and yeah this repulsive vibe y'all have about denying your own existance....
humans always wanted to be gods...
others just satisfied being but left behind...
why do you think I hate you all ???
empty words you all speek,
of no rememberance of thy's own self/past whatever you wanna call it....
but nha..
it's just too easy to ignore all of that and indulge
in self-proclaim rights over whatever we please righ ?
... ignorant fools..
***Pause***
made me wonder each time I tried
why no one ever took the time
to ask me why
those tears of blood
running down my spine
are they really mine ?
makes me wonder each time I try
being human, being like them
why everyday I'd have to die
yet they still don't know who's blood
is running down my spine...
spare me for it couldn't be more then his
spare thee for all you took from him ?
if you look close enough you'll see the blood absorbed by mine
if you look close enough you'll see your time fading in stone...
the more human I try to be
the more blood runs down my spine
the more humans by my hands have stopped to be
the more you closed your frigid dead eyes
so don't ask me what I want to be,
if not with my hands wrapped around your sorry *ss neck
don't ask me how I would see it fit
there is no word in my mind that you call compromise.
I know no such word
not only empty but worthless it has found it's path
so again don't ask me
where I'd rather be
cause all you'll get is somewhere drunk pissing on your own grave...
*** End Pause ***
aaawwww....
what can I say ..
sometimes there's just no better way then to just let your mind go ...
oh and btw...
I figured I could let you peeps e-mail me to complain about my views and all...
there :: complaints@maamohth.org ::
happy now ???
oh and if you ever wonderer why I try not to make specific attacks
.. well..
cause I just can't seem to be able to bend over that much like some of you do
.. huhuhu... hey if the hat fits...
*** Comment ***
Death To The Cats Bats Rats and ALL lthat rhyms with Hats !!!!! :P
*** End Comment ***
.. : aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh , perseverence! : HateBreed ;)
tell me,
are we humans or animals ?
are we free or must we obey like well trained dogs ?
what's with this life in which we are said to be free ?,
what's with this life that we deny the right to be ?,
why should we bend over and follow rules that some lay,
only to satisfy their lust for personnal gratification ?..
who's life do you own ?,
who's life are you living if not your own ?
So why?,
just tell me why ?,
not live it, for yourself ???...
pour ceux qui me connaissent...
ici commence l'intro du Je M'en Foutisme Québécois ;)))
.. personnally I say I.
beecause I am what I make of my life,
the choices I make determine the way I become,
I make myself what I am everyday...
kinda like back in the old days when we used to play Quake 1 and
there'd be a lag between what you'd do and what would happen
...
real lag
...cause what goes around comes around,
so,
why should I care if you can't handle it ?
and why should you care if they can't handle it ? ...
because you care about them ????
you care about what they think of you ?
.. ok sure fine,
but do they ???
or are they just trying to mold you to what they want you to be
often times making sure you don't wrinkle their image....
why should you even care about their image if they don't respect yours ???
and besides ..
what the hell is so important about image ???
.. is there a biological difference between humans with 5000$ cars
and those with 50 000$ cars???
does it make you a better person to own a 30 room house
and a worst one to live in an appartment ???
What's the importance of social status if it's all based on a game of make believe ???
... so you like those pink shoes
.. so ????
get them ..
who cares what other peoples will say
... the important is that you feel good about it...
you find someone attractive and all your friends are in disagreement...
so ???
who's chemistry are we talking about here ???
yours or their's ???
... sure friends are important and it is important to maintain a certain standard,
I mean lets not start walking butt naked in the streets
or start shooting people just because we feel like doing it.
but lets just not fall into conformity,
the cancer of the kid that lives in all of you...
and if that kid is dead well then go join him...
cause conformity brings routine, monotony, gray,..
keep your kid alive no matter what and remember
...
keep YOUR kid alive not that of others.
cause the more you keep your kid alive the more you'll feel alive
and those around you will feel that and who knows ...
it might just help them in keeping their own kid alive...
if you don't do that they'll drain your kid dead and you along with them...
wether they wanted that to happen or not doesn't make a difference,
sometimes the end result is all that counts and
this is one of those times.
you cannot care about what someone else thinks unless you wish to please them.
but that soon falls into submission... if not properly dosed...
words..
such empty shells when you allow yourselves to mold their relationship with things....
.... you know, somtimes I just try too hard
... or is it y'all who don't try enough...
I mean, no matter what I try ...
it just doesn't matter,
nothing changes ... NOTHING CHANGES !!!!
.. huhuhu ..
how pathetic...
but you know it's always easier to play then to be honnest,
just like it's always easier to impress someone and to have
that someones attention to the fullest
when you see that someone every so often ...
huhu ..
me rapelle pus trop si cé zébulon ou juste Marc Déry mais bon ..
quand cé trop facile, ya pas d'mérite !!!..
but aside from that I just don't get it ...
how can someone expect forgiveness when all one did was to play the other
to one's own advantage.. ?
cause personnaly I'd feel like a slab of meat ...
whatever the kind..
always sad to be played,
always sad to see that no matter what I always have to play... ??
barf ... vous allez me faire vomir, franchement...
and I guess the hardest part is dealing with the chaos that establishes H.Q.
in your head....
*sigh...
and besides it's always hard to admit oneself beaten. very hard. ...
good thing some peeps stick around .. y'all know who you are, thx.
.. really agrevating to have someone take the little that you've managed to spare
thru time and just waste it away from pure *** lazzyness...
it hurts and like Offspring says ;
The more you suffer , the more it shows you really care..
it's just sad to see that nobody listens cause nobody cares
and that in life,
human relations,
what you see is not necessarelly what you get.
of coarse y'all wont get me dead down cause none of you is worth that much ..
I don't really want to keep contact when this happens...
it always hurts too much and there's rarelly any excuses that can forgive such behavior...
A call for blood for what you've done,
no tolerance for what you've done....
thats what my soul is crying out for ..
Hatred in it's purest form,
but none of you is worth that,
specially since most of you have let me down without even trying..
such a f****** w**** !!!
why would I even want to try if thats what y'all are ???
just fells like it...
nobody listen cause nobody cares...
I'm not alone maybe,
but thats because you're looking thru you're own eyes and not mine
...it's just sad that it actually hurts ..
for real...
I hate it !!!!
make it stop !!!!!
... I remember back when I was a kid...
I made this one nightmare that just keeps coming back to life...
y'all remember old Donky Kong game,
where mario had to get up the ladders dodging wooden barrels
that Donky would throw at him ... well..
simply take that level and take mario, donky and the princess
out of the picture and replace the barrels by little hearts that chip away
as they fall from level to level ultimatly falling to dust upon ground contact...
repeating endlessly...
I think I was about 5 or 6
... something like that ...
people are just too self-centered and mean
.. just plain old mean!
when I said :
"all those who died never even tried, kill me please for I have never died"
it ment that all I do is try ....
and one way or another I'll have to stop because it's making me ill
...
serioussly ...
it's just so easy to hurt people without having a conscience for it
sometimes and it's a very crushing feeling to be the one who gets hurt...
personnally I haven't played "The Game" in so may years that I wouldn't
even know where to start but alast...
all those who cross my path are players,
liers,
cheaters,
back-stabbers,
hypocrits,
dead souls wandering without a clue as to why they exist...
all I ever wanted is something real ...
not a game...
I hate games ...
at least those games...
and it really hurts to have to live this but like they say
.. the road to hell is paved with good intentions...
humans are not worth it for all I know..
specially the cats, bats, rats, and all that rhyms with hats....
I never wanted all of this and thats why I was so comprehensive about it
but obvioussly you just couldn't care less....
... sometimes I wonder if they treat me like that cause I look solid on my two feets ...
I don' know..
all I know is that it hurts ...
used and abused,
I walked away ....
now to see what I can salvage from this wreakage...
... maybe one day....
but hope is too expensive these days so I just won't ....
for now... 23-11-2004...
... yeah I know...
but I've started to feel better since then ...
even tho it still doesn't make sense,
I figured I'd be better off this way and besides..
I H8 X-mas !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! .....
have for quite some time now ...
why ? ...
bha ...
y'all oppress each other everyday,
y'all just don't care except for this one day
when everyone puts his or her angst on the side and smile !!!...
lame...
really lhame...
sure,
it all depends on who you're with and all...
it's always sad to spend it alone..
or is it ?
.. personnaly it's just another day...
my personnal beliefs tell me that instead of playing around for a few days
and then going back to that lame old routine is the same as murdering your soul...
Thou shall not waste energy upon ingrates...
.... I know I cannot expect all of you to understand where I stand
or why I think this way but think about it
... why is there blood running down my spine now that you've probably figured out
who's blood it is...
I never wanted all of this,
never asked to be a slave in this lame reality you all accept
because everyone else does...
no the wheel wont turn the other way ..
simply because eveybody has accepted it ...
who cares if it take's away hope for a better future,
lets build our future at the expenses of others...
... humans..
there's just too many reasons to hate y'all ...
just don't think it's worth it anymore...
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I HATE HUMANS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
... huhu just can't get enough of saying it ;) !!!
huhu.. piss off .. you bunch of A-holes !..
... oh well, ma mama told me the'yed be no easa ones.... *sigh.
serioussly here,
must I do everything myself ?
do I really have to think for you all ??
must I impose you behaviors I choose ???
when are you going to open those shut eyes of yours ??? ...
cause I don't have to do much to "pop a fuse" !!
I just open the front door and there you are,
each and everyone of you,
by himself and for most just a bunch of dead souls
wandering about their daily slavery...
why do I still have to get up in the morning and stress my wallet out of existance
if thats all this slavery is about ?
You're born,
9 to 5 ,
and then you die...
but thats not the worst part!
The worst part is you call this life!!!
huhuh... life... yeah right ...
and I'm Mickey Mouse for F's sake !!! ..
we all know stress makes us age faster,
causes bad relations between peoples,
even make's us and pet animals sick !!!
both physically and mentally so why are we doing it still ???
I mean,
if you need a rush that bad then play a freaking game online against someone or
do something ELSE then satisfy a lustfull need of power aquired via dominance/submissive
behaviors... ..
money...
it makes the world go round ...
or sommething like that ...
and it's honnestly one of the sickest thing to say !!!
... money is the cancer of humanity because humans ARE NOT CAPABLE
of dealing with power, and thus humans become the cancer of this beloved planet
.... BECAUSE ?????? ...
the human is one of the only animals on this planet who adapts his environment
in order to live in it whereas almost all other species adapted to their environment
instead... now answer this one little question please :
is there another animal on this planet that shoes OBVIOUS signs of S&M behavior ???
cause it just doesn't make sense... ...
what ????
some of you get pleasure from it ? ...
hmmm kinda reminds me of a rat who would cross an electrified floor to push a button
and then come back to get his fix of cocaine!!!
he fried for it, died....
make's no sense....
just like it makes no sense for humans to wage war agains't each other...
physically that is...
personnally I find all of this extremelly primitive...
but I doubt what I think will make a difference...
oh and it's not people = shit it's HUMANS (YOU - MANS) = CANCER !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and the hardest part is living amongst you all,
sociallizing and all of that ...
how can you be honnest when you're not even true to yourselves ????
what's the point in having a relationship without honnesty ???
I ... you know the rest ;)
sometimes I wonder what saddens me the most...
the mistakes I make or those they make...
how am I to know who wears a hat ???
from what I saw...?
well.. sorry to say so but the saw blade isn't sharp enough...
humans hold no word for me to speak of peace...
they constantly strive to devour their kind,
as if that word could have another meaning.
Humans know nothing or some just barely remember,
but so few if any have witnessed the existance of such knowledge.
for words affect our everyday, in alot of ways if not all...
call a child stupid and he will become with time, stupid.
the use of words can sometimes awake some unwanted circomstances...
or wanted... depends if the glass if half full or half empty...
it doesn't have to be one specific way.
in both cases, there is movement..
so sometimes the glass is half full and sometimes it's half empty.... right?
...
to aim... means you have to find your target first.
to kill... means you have to aim at your target, then deliver the blow...
to death... means I raise up my Hail in sign of RespecT Uggae.
to MyRMiDoN... means to have your heads on spikes...
maybe then shall I listen to your peace proposals...
I ... I HATE HUMANS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...
t'il the e.n.d. since evil never dies.
..
primates... primitive animals, I wonder what's next for dinner...
not that it's getting boring but just that blood sometimes boils along with time.
blood ....
time to die boy.
..
said the dream... just cause someone said jump.
...
wrong...
cause I want the glass empty.
SLAVE!
...
coudonc tabarn.. cé quoi vote problème gang d'ost. d'fêler ???
z'êtes toutes tout croches ??? kalvaire que j'ai l'gout de tuer!!
paske cé rushant de d'envier ce que je déteste le plus...
pis l'pire cé que j'ai même po l'droit de dire ce que je pense a fond
a cause d'une tite click de pudiques consciencieux pis hautain...
ehmm.. pas les webmasters d'ici là, ca pas rapport avec ca ...
je parle de la morale qui à la fois me dégoute et me récomfort.
je parle de cet ambition humaine de tout vouloir contrôler, possèder.
je parle de votre besoin de vous trouver une foi, une voie, une loi...
je parle de vous minables insectes dépourvu de tout forme de conscience.
je parle de vous qui croyez détenir le pouvoir, le savoir, l'avoir.
je parle de tout ce que vous etes en reniant votre propre nature ...
je parle de vous chers humains, de vos mains, des bains, du sein.
parce que c'est de là que tout commence... à finir, détruire, mourir...
ce que je vous reproche prendrait une vie à écrire et j'en ai dors et déjà
écoulé un tier...bha, une tite bière, une tite prière, une tite bière, une vie de misère.
.. j'voulais pas vous l'écrire en francais
paske cé tout ce qu'il me restait
mais asteur que je l'fais, asteur, devant les faits, j'me dit
kalvaire que cé cave... paske dans l'fond ben vous avez pas de but... autre que votre "u"!
. oh well... keep sending them in, he said. There's no need to keep them waiting!
then my stomac growled...
I'm getting hungry.!?!.
a puff of smoke, listenning to the computer fan... wondering
slavery + infamy + obedience + conformity = atheist
reclusion + obligations + Idolatry + obstinancy = beLIEver
...
Die,Die,Dead,Dead,Deader,Deader,Dead,Dead
Die,Die,Dead,Dead,Deader,Deader,Dead!
b.t.w. it's not the fact that it's a made up commercial "special day"
I just HATE HUMANS!!!!!!!.. therefor.. I HATE YOU ALL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
thank you. now die.
... humans... worthless slaves, worthless hearts,
worthless souls doing their worthless part.
Since when did we part ?... (*thx to those who know...*).. cause I don't remember,
all I see is a straight thin line going circles aourd itself thinking :
....why?, did we die??, how could this be???
Because you're DEAD .
nothing else, dead.
there's nothing more to be said, you're Dead!
I will NoT sTanD behind your hand, for you are DeaD .!..
not only said, but carved in your head, you, are, dEAd.
poor little man, it was all in your head!
This Being Said.
.. yupe.. once again I feel the urge deep within me
once again I need to...
need to RAM MY FIST DOWN YOUR THROATS... but there's nothing to pull out..
nothing no one no one nothing shall find it's way to a humans heart.
The Race, YOU, Man, have NO hearts.
.. I'm gonna be sick soon... slaves..... all you are... all you ever will be!
Slavery, Infamy, Obedience, Butchery.
... always nice to know there will ALWAYS be someone out there to shit on my head...
.. damn I HATE YOU ALL !!!!!!!!!!!!!
... hell is nothing compared to what I would do to you all...
worthless pieces of putrefacted meat.... sincerely I do...
!!!!!!!!!HATE HUMANS!!!!!!!!!
god IS dead humans.
you killed him.